|Show Name:||Now with more...?|
|Age:||Mentally about 5|
| Saturdays 6-8PM EST|
What time is that for me?
Check the schedule for any changes/pick-up shows
YellowToast here, hallo. It is safe to say this wiki is full of inaccuracies, I blame you.
If you have never listened to a Toast show, expect a variety of music and lots and lots of talking, the record is half and half but this is rarely the case. Although it is almost guaranteed not to make sense.
Toast has currently taken to making himself jingles throughout his show, because why the heck not?
Yellow Toast is not Ravengyre and is therefore way better than Ravengyre. Like what you are, silly person.
Yellow Toast got his chance to be a DJ after submitting a sound check entry containing a concerned rant about the fact the neighbours upstairs had workmen in and he was concerned that the ceiling to his room would collapse and the neighbour’s bath would drop down onto his bed while broadcasting and he’d be asked to provide a towel for his naked unattractive neighbour. This apparently passed for good radio, and he was hired.
Yellow Toast broadcasts from his little bedroom in a flat in Essex, England – or outside London where all English people live for some of his American listeners, and they know who they are… Yellow Toast went live on the afternoon of 6th September 2011.
= He has demonstrated on video that he cannot hold his breath for more than 10 seconds due to an uncontrolled desire to talk. This often leads to Toast commenting for 10 seconds on something said in chat, only ending 10 minutes later on a different subject, on a tangent that even the greatest minds would not be able to follow.
It is not unusual for Toast to do impressions during his show; he's often heard reading aloud what people have messaged him in their supposed voice. By all accounts, most people from the subcontinent of India sound like Elvis, all Scottish people sound like Mrs. Doubtfire and the average American is a red-necked Texan. Or maybe a cowboy. Or a cowboy from Texas with a cough. His fellow DJ Opai is in fact the DJing name of Neil from The Young Ones.
As a listener you will periodically get some sort of generalized abuse aimed at you. It is not unusual for Yellow Toast to tell his listeners he hates them, or thinks they are “bar stewards” and after a few seconds of silence, admit he actually loves them all. Awwwww, bless. Some of the abuse is justified however, especially during some of his contests where some individuals, and you can ask Mr Knee about these individuals, deliberately winds him up (more about this later) with some of the guesses and answers. It should be noted that any ‘abuse’ aimed at individuals is often part of inside jokes and not personal.
Click on the schedule link on the left and look it up yourself you lazy gits. Since the schedules periodically change, it is unlikely Toast will be playing attention enough to his wiki entry to update it.
It is difficult to classify what sort of music Yellow Toast plays, although it can maybe be said he rarely plays anything too modern or commercial. Don’t be surprised to hear someone like Dusty Springfield, followed by some late 80s / early 90s techno followed by Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer. It is correct to say he will play pretty much any track that people send in – including songs from such musical giants as Mr T and Dale Winton. It is likely Toast’s methodology of track selection is looking through his music collection, thinking “Hmmm, I haven’t played that for a while and I think I used to like that song” and then adding it to the playlist. Requests can be sent to DJYellowToast@gmail.com. Don't be surprised to hear Yellow Toast to start playing with his ukulele during times that his computer refuses to play music. In such times, expect cover versions of the likes of Soft Cell's Tainted Love.
Yellow Toast previously ran two distinct contests – The Bump Contest and the “What the fuck was I looping?” contest. It should be noted that the cited prize fund for any competition is not the amount you will get in meat. The package you receive may well be a combination of meat and donated items whose sale value is approximately the top prize. Should you wish to get rid of any junk, feel free to send it to Yellow Toast’s prize multi – JTJbot (#499472)
The Bump Contest simply requires listeners to send in a bump stating the listener is listing to Yellow Toast on Radio Kol. During the week, usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday, he will play the entries during the show and then judge whose is the best. The winner will win approx 5 million meat. It is approx since the prize will be a combination of meat and ‘junk’ that people have donated to his prize multi JTJbot that is judged to be worth the balance. Quite often though, Toast cannot decide whose is the best and so several people normally end up with a split of it.
The ‘What the F#¤% is that noise’ contest (or any variation on that name – Yellow Toast has confused himself on this several times) is a guessing game where Yellow Toast will pick up a random object in his bedroom, slap it against his leg or desk and record the sound. He’ll then stick it through a looping machine he has attached to his PC and the listeners are invited to guess what noise is being looped. Previous answers include a banana skin, a jar containing Chocolate Spread and a CD. Toast will provide some clues during the show such as “It is made of wood”. Some people will at this point ask if it is a piece of wood which will prompt the DJ to call out “No it isn’t a piece of wood you stupid, stupid people”. Since Yellow Toast believes the answer to be damned obvious, frustration can be steadily heard creeping into his voice when confirming all the wrong answers. With about 15-20 minutes to go, Yellow Toast will allow people to ask questions which’ll hopefully enable people to get the answer – or close enough.
NB: If Toast asks “What is the loopy sound on the radio?” then answering with “Oh, the loopy thing is Yellow Toast” will lead to Toast staring at you in a stare of unoriginality rage. And you shall know about the stare despite Yellow Toast being on the radio and not TV.
Periodically, Toast will open additional random competitions, usually when he requires ideas for things, or is just bone idle to do things himself. For example, for one competition, he asked people to submit bio entries that he can use on this very wiki page on a simple copy and paste basis. People who entered this wiki creation contest include (in alphabetical order): AJHunter, Granite Grizz, IdkmybffHannah, MkFreak, Mr. Knee (The bastard) and We Can Fight This.
* On the radio show on the 2nd November 2011, Yellow Toast said he'd honour AromiaFlyce and Lykos by mentioning them on his wiki. Yellow Toast hopes you feel suitably honoured. And indeed, Lykos was so honoured that he created an account on the Radiowiki just to state how honoured he was.
Other Interesting Facts.
NB: All the following facts are true, even the stuff made up.
* Yellow Toast is a bit of a pervert about everything.
* Yellow Toast is an anthropomorphic ukulele robot.
* He's powered by a potato battery, and uses an Arduino.
* He does all his own stunts, such as going 71mph in a 70mph zone, swimming 25 minutes after eating, and driving a little bit too close to the right lane. He is in the planning phases of one that he refers to as "Being a white man and jumping," but no details have been released as to the nature of this stunt.
* Yellow Toast's broadband is currently a taut piece of string that is tied to a USB plug attached to the back of his laptop and is stretched outside his window and tied to the main phone line outside. Yellow Toast plans to soon upgrade to a carrier pigeon system which involves the pigeons carrying the internet packages directly to the ISP provider. He hopes this'll stop the 64k stream dying whenever someone on the other side of the world flushes the toilet.
* Yellow Toast is the only person that dislikes his own show. (Note: it is believed that "person" should be replaced with the word "DJ" - hence he is the only DJ who hates his own show. Listeners to his show refuse to believe that someone somewhere has no taste and doesn't like his show)
* Yellow Toast is a porous yellow square thing like Spongebob Squarepants - but unlike spongebob, he does not live in a pineapple under the sea, nor does he (to our knowledge) have a pet snail called Gary.
* Yellow Toast sounds suspiciously like Weebl when he sings. However, unlike Weebl, he is not a northerner and hasn't participated in any yellow pages adverts (to date).
* Yellow Toast was once disqualified from being classifed as human, but due to a technicality where a piece of paperwork wasn't submitted in time, Yellow Toast was allowed back into the human race on appeal.
* Yellow Toast has a large 10 inch fully erect penis. No one is sure where he got it, but it has been indentified as formerly belonging to a gorilla and stuffed to display its full glory. Yellow Toast keeps it in his hat draw.
Thanks for reading my bio... Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Arrrrrrrrrrrrg... My hand appears to have a life of its own. It won't stop waving! Someone help! My arm is getting tired. Help meeeeeeee...