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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:56 pm 
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Hello all you jezbians out there! You have one week to write me the worst poem you can come up with.

It doesn't have to rhyme.

It doesn't even have to make sense.

BUT

You must include at least these six words (picked by our listeners on Wednesday March 7th):

perineum
Proclivity
monkey
spasm
sardonic
cavalcade

The Bonus Word:
mathematics (of course)

Post your entries here, and the prize is a jitterbug larva!

Winner will be announced during the Wednesday night show, March 21st!

Good luck!


Last edited by Jezebelle on Thu Mar 15, 2007 12:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:58 pm 
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One day I saw a monkey, climb up a proclivity.
The poor thing had a spasm.
It's sardonic perineum, flew like a cavalcade.
Mathematics.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 11:59 pm 
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.... six words?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 12:02 am 
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Foryst wrote:
.... six words?


I got excited and put that it was 6...but Mathematics is the "bonus word"

*giggle*


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 2:08 pm 
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The monkey's proclivity
to spasm when he thought of me
was sardonic in its cavalcade
of mathematics problems he had made.

The high price of petroleum
caused a twitch in my perineum.
The monkey laughed and laughed some more
And I left him, bleeding, on the floor.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Gah, I think that's so bad I need to find a new career.

;-)

Rhen


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 7:05 pm 
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Location: Southeastern Michigan (Tecumseh)
The monkey's strange proclivity
while observing the nativity
laced sardonic animosity
with intransigent verbosity
When torment in my perineum
not felt in a millenium
and an exponential cavalcade
of viscous renal promenade
most unlike a coital spasm
this odorous orgasm
caused consternation mathematical
when I left on my sabbatical


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 10:13 pm 
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~Ode to a cavalcade of sardonic monkeys with the Proclivity of sexual paraphilia that intend to spasm in my perineum~

Holy mathematics!
Owwwww!
Bad monkey!
Ehww.....!
Stickiness!

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A DJ is ME!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 10:36 pm 
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The mathematics of proclivity:
Spank the monkey to the
Spasm of the perineum, including another.
Hear the sardonic cavalcade,
Oh yes, oh no, oh yes.
One and one make three.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 11:56 am 
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Hmm... a contest of rhyme
Alas I have not the time
To a poem compose
or sonnet or prose
Of sardonic proclivity
Or mathematic activity
With a monkey cavalcade;
Chimps on parade,
Mayhap ghosts will spasm
And flailing ectoplasm
Will drip from a spectral perineum
Perhaps 'twill be perennial
Still, I cannot enter this contest
Though if I did, 'twould be the best

*edit* fixed my typo of "though" as "thought". Wait, I deny everything!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:03 pm 
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Fright Night at the Zoo
------

I was born with a proclivity to spasm.
Twitch and squeak at the slightest occasion.
The old monkey, Full of sarcasm
Sardonic and cold
Unleashed a cavalcade of urinic insults upon the glass.

Twas the day I found my perineum, between the chasms.
The mathematics of which, miraculous and proud,
Showed me more in common with the monkey
Than a love of bananas.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 9:59 pm 
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So what if life broke up with me?
Proclivity to disaster
is all what life can bring to me
while angst is still my master.

Cavalcades of arguments
like monkey with its faeces.
The need to breed and rage of war...
the true origin of species.

And if I seem sardonic
in my analysis of life
remember what it truly is
that lets husband marry wife.

For all his high philosophies
and stellar mathematics
man still gropes for the perineum
in a spasm automatic.




Yay, I've even managed to make it angsty!


Last edited by discworldian on Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:01 pm 
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Ok, a last minute entry cause I forgot about this :oops:

The dark sardonic monkey sits alone
The mathematics send a cavalcade of spasms
Through its perineum
Just as our own proclivity for making even the most worthless of animals
Count
Cause little death in us all




...awful enough? :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:38 pm 
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This would be better but I was in a very uncreative mood, I couldn't read my handwriting, and I was rushed. I also have another 3 Kmail's worth of poem that I lost.

Oh no!
Oh no no, no, no no, No!
No one understands me.
No, not at all.
They don’t understand,
My teenage angst,
My girlfriend left me,
My boyfriend too,
And I was raped by lady living in a shoe.

No one understands my pain, or my eyeliner,
They shun me and think they know me.
My parents humor me, buy they don’t know
It’s so painful, fo sho!
How can anyone understand the pain and suffering,
The dreariness of me?

My rainy dark miasmic soul,
Drowns the whole world.
Rain and tears, Epert and Roper,
Death, destruction, sadness.
Those are I.
I want to cut myself,
But my mommy won’t let me.

Dark and sad, unhappy and I lost my job,
Some douche took a dump on my chest, making me sob.
Sob, sob, sobbing for ever, my soul.
I reach for the bottle.
I prepare to jump,
I’m going to hit the wall full throttle,
I just failed a test on Aristotle.
The shit keeps hitting the fan,
Blinding me and hitting me in the Parts O’ Man.
And now my mom won’t take me to GameStop!
Fuck this, I say!
The dark and gloom, infects my miasmic soul and room.
I beg for death,
My life’s a teenage waste land.(Have you read T.J. Elliot’s new book, Teenage Wasteland?)

I have a Proclivity,
That I will be fucked by a monkey.
It will not happen if I’m lucky,
But I never am.
That’s my name is Sucky McFucky.
My soul id dark and drowning is sorrow for those who don’t understand me.
Like really fucking dark douche!

I try to jack off to porn,
But I only get spasm’s, not orgasms.
I'm so pathetic, I would be happy if I had a dick, or even North Korea's Type O-Dong!
Man I would really like to Spank that monkey,
And teach her some Mathematics.
Hot Mathematics!

My wife and job gone.
I have no friends.
No one understands my pain,
So I shall no longer explain.
There’s gloom and doom, where things
Go boom!
Miasma, gloom, unhappy, sad, dark,
Death, destruction, rainy, black,
pestilence, tears, black eyeliner, plague, flood.
The cavalcade of the horsemen come.
If only I had taken Jesus as my one and true savoir.
If only I had that Plexiglas Pike Pike!
Fucking Hardcore Oxygenarian!
Zombies Ate My Neighbors!
They taught me mathematics for some sexual favours.
Now I have Gonorrhea.
My dog called me a prick,
And bit off my dick,
Then fucked me in the clit.
The doctor says he gave me wounds on the perineum,
But I don’t even know what that means.

I will soon by most royally boned,
But a sardonic man interesting in the study of hyprophonic.
It’s like Phonics, the hydrophonics.
Take a glass of water, and sound it out!

My knees at the ready,
I bring the bottle to my lips, I am at the edge,
A car will soon go off the bridge.
Darkness I have become, angst I shall,
Always be. So dark and miasmic, rainy too.
Dark and gloom. Emo. Dark as black night,
Darker than a black cat, who has crossed my path. Now the zombies, who taught me mathematics, ate my dog.
Damm, I liked that dog!
They don’t need my tears, they don’t understand me at all.

I hear a shout come up the stairs - My Mom says it’s time for dinner.
Yay, it’s Macaroni night!

Sniff, it wasn’t macaroni, I cut, I smash, drink to death -
I, the one of pain, and 2 drums and a Cymbal jump off a cliff.
Budum Dum Pah(Chahh? Chhs? Phsa?)! Splat!
This is my Goat, see?

IT'S OVER! KER-SPLAT!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:50 pm 
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Congrats!

A winner is Fineldar!

A runnerup is Discworldian!! :)


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